Some Vintage April 1st stuff from John Lingard

[Triple V]

EXCLUSIVE: BOB BENTLEY INVITED TO RETURN AS RQ CHAIRMAN WITH NEVILLE STEWART AS HIS DEPUTY

EXCLUSIVE by letsgohorseracing EDITOR JOHN LINGARD
IN a move that will send shock-waves through the racing industry, the new LNP Government plans to re-appoint Bob Bentley as Chairman of Racing Queensland.
Speaking from Dubai where he is attending the Asian Racing Conference, Bentley told letsgohorseracing that he was both ‘surprised’ and ‘delighted’ by the decision.
“I will be meeting with the new Racing Minister on my return to suggest a few important steps that will help me advance the industry even further,” Bentley said.

“The first of these will be the appointment of my long-time colleague Neville Stewart as deputy on the RQ Board. He has been left out for too long.” Bentley said he would offer an olive branch to BRC Chairman Kevin Dixon and his No 1 supporter, the Toowoomba Turf Club Chairman Bob Frappell, by offering both jobs as assistant to he and Stewart.
“I also want Kevin to take over the duties as my personal consultant and driver. That way he could still stay on at the BRC. But I must warn him that I do more travelling than listening these days.
“I have learnt lessons from my past failures with Integrity bosses and plan to offer Steve Railton his old job back with a promotion to Integrity Commissioner if he can get a release from his new digs at Wan Chai. ‘Railo’s’ deputy will be one-time jockey, trainer, race-caller, studmaster, horse breeder, owner, punter, tipster, Sinclair hater, stable-hand and racing gigolo Peter Bredhauer.
“There will be no need for a CEO as I will be suggesting that I assume the role of Executive Chairman. I will be keeping my good mate Wayne Milner in a key role and appointing his close colleague John Wayne Purchase to the Board. There will be no need for representatives from harness or greyhound racing as both will be non-existent within 12 months.
“To avoid any flak from my former deputy Tony Hanmer I will have him immediately inducted into the Queensland Racing Hall of Fame and retain his services as a motivational speaker to travel the state and convince stake-holders to support my plans for the industry going forward.”


The most important projects on the Bentley agenda when he returns to the Chairman’s Desk will be:

• Allocating the sale proceeds of Albion Park to gallops prizemoney.
• Introducing a fairer distribution formula which will see the codes paid according to what they contribute in turnover percentage until the ‘red hots’ can no longer afford to exist.
• Resurrecting the plan to develop Deagon as a state-of-the-art harness and greyhound facility, employ Wayne Wilson to promote the project and move the gallops trainers out to new stabling that will be built by RQ in the flood-prone former Rocklea trotting complex (at least it doesn’t go under as often as the Creek).
• Appeasing the new Racing Minister’s many hobbies by introducing scuba diving in the in-field lake at Eagle Farm where they will also be permitted, once a week – not during race meetings – to shoot the ducks; have a weekly croquet competition conducted down the main straight at Doomben; and introduce Dog Obedience Classes in the mounting yards at both of the major tracks providing those involved carry ‘doggy poo’ collections bags.
• To keep the Racing Minister on his toes there will be a ‘lucky dip’ similar to Gold Lotto conducted on SKY Channel on a monthly basis to determine which LNP Minister does the job.
• And in fairness to those who feel they have suffered previously at the hands of the Bentley Board and its Integrity hatchet-men, former GCTC chairman Andrew Eggleston will be permitted to knock out two security guards each week and will be offered the job as body-guard to the RQ Chairman; Bob Frappell will be brought on board as cushion track consultant and will be permitted to exclude Neville Stewart and Anthony Burke from attending Clifford Park race meetings at least once a month; Bart Sinclair will be allowed unimpeded access to the jockeys’ room at Eagle Farm six times a year (everyone knows the worst judges in the world are those who ride the horses) and Terry Butts will have a bronzed statue of his fine physique erected outside the Cluden track in honor of the war he waged on behalf of all the battlers in the racing media when charged with bringing the industry into disrepute.

[teecee]

Grabaseat is proud to introduce Straight Up Fares


Grabaseat is proud to introduce STRAIGHT UP FARES, the next step inthe evolution of affordable domestic air travel on sale to anyone who can‘stand it’.

We’ve installed hand holds on the cabin ceilings of selecteddomestic flights, to allow even more passengers onto our planes. We can nowhouse up to 69 extra people standing in the aisle for the duration of theflight, massively increasing our capacity and drastically lowering ticketprices.

Straight Up fares are just one more example of your favouritecheap flights website thinking outside the square. If people are willing tostand for hours in queues, at footy matches or in pubs, we thought, then surelythey won’t mind standing up for an hour or so on a plane to save themselvessome cash.

If you’re as excited about all this as we are, then hurry up andbook your little piece of carpet before someone else does!

Find out more about Straight Up Fares and book here.
The grabaseat team