JC, if you're saying that with a straight face then you need to get yourself along to OPSM for I fear that you may be suffering from Macular Degeneration or otherwise, Glaucoma.
I have got an Optometrist mate who works at their Castle Hill store and can get you in any time you like. Please consider it in any case. Eyesight is a very precious thing and we need to take care of it.